I started this entry on Saturday in order to capture some of what I was feeling and completed it tonight on my flight home (from where to come a little later). The week started out with a few obstacles because there was a 2 day department workshop for work - Monday and Tuesday- that was about 1.5 hours drive from where I live. While the majority of the team stayed over night I did not. One of my colleagues also didn't stay over night and luckily she did most of the driving (thanks Sveti!!!). So with my meal bag prepped we hit the road both days. Monday night we stayed through the team dinner and wine tasting. This was hard, no so much because of the food but because of how out of place I felt. About 9pm we hit the road back to Stuttgart anticipating a smooth return; however, traffic jams and night time road construction awaited us. Shortly after 11pm we made back and I headed straight to the gym to train. There are no off days.
Late nights and early mornings are tough but I knew what I was getting into when the week started and mentally I was prepared for it. The overall workshop was good and I was happy I attended. I could have made up a thousand excuses for why not to go, but they wouldn't have made me a stronger person.
The second half of the week I spent on Grand Canaria (Spain), where I spent 4 in training camp with The Boss (pictured with me to the left and his awesome wife) and relaxing (when I could in between). I love when I actually get to train with him because I always learn something new. I'm taking away some nuggets that I'll hit on in the next sections.
Diet
My diet this week has gone through what feels like 1,000 changes. Why? Because I've reached a junction on my fat loss where my body is saying "baby, girl you're trippin'" and I'm asking it for more and more.
This week broccoli was canceled out all together because my system has never gotten used to it. Large quantities of broccoli + Joanna's digestive tract = problems. I'm down to turkey, paprika, rice and rice cakes. Saturday and Sunday were brutal because we still kept up the training intensity on as few calories as possible.
As a woman and as a natural athlete it hasn't been an easy task to figure out what will make things (specifically fat loss) continue to flow continually in the downward direction. At the end of the day, it's my will vs. my body's will. And my body is putting up a damn good fight.
Training
Monday and Tuesday was training as normal; however, doing my 4 days with the Boss I trained in the mornings, again in the afternoon which usually consisted of arm supersets and a bit of shoulder pumping work, and then again at night going heavier with the weights. In addition 45 minutes of cardio (last 2 days: 2 sessions @ 45 minutes each with a weighted vest). We trained the whole body everyday, but split up over the three workouts. In between rest was imperative.
We went through some new exercises to add to my regimen to bring up some weak areas notably my lower ab strength and my shoulder posture (shoulder posture the result of my day job and hours sitting behind a desk and abs because my lower back is strong as shit and takes the fame). These time - Wednesday through Sunday - was focused on getting as much movement in as possible. And movement I did get in.
Weight
As of Saturday morning, when I'm writing this blog entry my weight was 73.1kg. This week my weight has fluctuated up and down between 72.6kg and 73.4kg. This is the most frustrating part of the process (the Boss hates when I talk like this). I have been dieting for the last 6 months, and the last 3 have been harder. Each week there is a new test and just when you think your will and desire can't be tested any further it is.
I know in the bigger scheme of things, everything happens how it is suppose to happen and ultimately this is just my first competiton. I will admit, that waking up in the morning seeing the numbers on the scale go up or remain unchanged - knowing that you have done everything you've been asked and/or told to do, you've sacrificed and found things to sacrifice that you didn't know could be sacrificed - is a very defeating feeling. It's like being deflated of air you don't have left. But what can you do? Nothing but choose to quit or keep fighting.
The goal for the show was to be around 67kg. I'm not sure what will happen in the next three weeks. All I know is that for the next 3 weeks I will give it all I have and know that when show day comes I will have done all that I could for that given day regardless of the result. Giving up just isn't in my DNA.
Emotions
I Skype with the Boss weekly and Nicole (Mrs. Boss - pictured with me on the right) would always say, "oh she's fine she's still smiling." I would think, of course, I am remaining positive. Let me tell you, week by week as the diet has gotten harder so has my ability to not bite someone's head clear off :). And the last four days with the new adjustments finally know what she meant -- I am quieter, my patience is on zero and I can go from cool to pissed faster than you wouldn't believe. Thank God for Frankie Beverly and Maze. The fight is real. Shit is realer than ever before!
Progress Pics
Here are this week's updated pics from this week. I definitely have to come back not on a pre-contest diet!
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