What Do You Want?

Living out your dream is not always easy, but we make it harder than it needs to be.  Let's be real, when you decide--I mean when you really decide--to pursue your dreams you jump, not off the top step, but to jump off the highest point, in the highest place with the possibility that you will not land in the place you will end up.  But how can you not?  And in the pursuit of that place you want to be we begin to forget about the place we are now, and that we are where we are supposed to be at this appointed time. 

Dream finding is a selfish feat.  Selfish because people may not understand why you are trying so hard instead of taking the 30 year, 9 to 5, 401(k) easy way out.  I think about a guy I went to high school with--Elton Anderson.  Elton left his corporate America, "secure" job to pursue a career as a professional photographer having only taken one photography class, one semester, during his college years.  And even though it may have been the single most scariest thing he's ever done in his life, and even though family and friends had their opinions and feelings about his decision--it was worth it.  Because if you look at his pictures, and you see his life, you know that taking that leap is always worth it because even if you don't land where you imagine, you always land better than you would have ended up if you took the simple, "secure" way out.  There is nothing better than living life doing what you love!

My greatest fear is getting to the end of my life and meeting the person I could have become if I weren't afraid to step out on faith.  And this goes with every aspect of my life.  I've come to learn that people judge what others doing based on the fears they have within themselves.  But when it comes down it, true happiness, true joy has more to do with defining what you want and going after it, rather than accepting where you are hoping that one day things will be different. 

Today, the perverbial shoes that I often refer to are tight on my feet once again.  And although the pain of moving forward, and shoes that don't quite fit can be very uncomfortable and seemingly unbearable, it's in the pain, in the stretching beyond your present limits that makes those new pair of shoes feel so much better.   So today, I'm focused on what I want.  I'm focused on what is best for me.  I'm aceepting what I know I deserve, and hitting the dance floor, in the crowd, full of confidence, laced with joy, dancing like there's no one watching!

Wise Investments

In helping others, we help ourselves.

This is a truth that has been known and realized since the beginning of time.  There are countless stories that involve major changes in societies sparked by the coming together of the collective whole.  In the game of football it takes all eleven players on the field for a team to do their individual jobs in order to see the success of the team as a whole.  Sometimes that job involves personal sacrifice in statistics, in fame, in recognition, and even fortune, but for the greater good and achievement of the team, the sacrifice is well worth it. 

As apart of team life, it is important that we all make sacrifices at times for the greater good of the human race.  It's in that sacrifice that we find our greater purpose.  We are all here to serve.  We want nice things, to live in nice places, to have extravagent lifestyles and to obtain personal goals, but at the end of this life, it's the impact that we've made in our families, in our communities, in our country and in our world that will make the difference.  It is the opportunity that we leave for all those who come behind us, that will have the biggest impact. 

Change in the world does not happen over night.  And neither does the change in ourselves.  Some things we do will stagnate the potential growth and progression, but it is those failures, those halts, those yield signs, and sometimes those stops, that strengthen us.  Because if we take the time to learn the lesson in the pain, in the desert places, in our loneliness, and in our uncomfortable situations, and we use that lesson to invest in the well-being and the growth of others, we also, subsequently take the time to invest in ourselves.

Therefore, I finish back where I started: In helping others, we help ourselves.

A Fighting Chance

Last night I learned of a young man, Benjamin Martin, who was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma--a cancerous brain tumor on April 23, 2009. He's eight years old.

Since being diagnosed Ben has undergone several brain surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation. He was doing well for a short time, but at the beginning of September, the tumor returned with a vengeance and is now near the brain stem. Doctors do not feel like he is a candidate for further surgeries, so the family is seeking alternative treatment at the Burzinski Clinic, a major international cancer center providing alternative cancer treatments such as antineoplaston--the treatment Ben is undergoing. The problem? Like many stories of American medicine, Ben's insurance will not cover the treatments, and his mother, determined to help her self-proclaimed superhero son fight, is making the sacrifice.

As with others, this story really tugs at the reins of my heart. Not only because he is so young, yet faced with something many of us will never have to experience at such a young age, but the fact that the doctors have given up on him. At any age, this is a tragedy, and even more so for someone that could possibly have his whole life in front of him. With this treatment his chances of survival increase from close to none, to significantly more. And although the numbers are not in his favor, he still deserves the best chance he can get.

As I look over my life I thank God that everyday He gives me a new chance to get it right. He forgets the foolishness and failures of yesterday, and give me a new clean slate to try again. To increase my chances, when it seems there they are none. And with each opportunity, the chances get better. I get better. So why do we not exhibit this kind of faith, no only in medicine, but in God's ability to make a way, through the gifts he's given to other people or even directly through our dedication to prayer and fasting?

Often times when people pass, family set up funds and non-profits to prevent other people from having to go through the devastation of losing a loved one due to inadequacy in knowledge, medicine or even finances. And the money goes to benefiting a larger group of people. We feel good when we give, not really know how much of a change our little bit will do, but knowing that the sum of the little bits could potentially equal a lot.

But giving to Ben is more than a good cause. It is something that you're tied to emotionally because just like we hope for life, death is still very much an option. And that is something that you would carry with you forever. And that is something that the world is missing. How much better could we be if we sacrificed our personal comfort to really care about people other than ourselves. But the giving, the hope, is no less in vain.

At the end of the day God has the final say and regardless of what that result is God is still God. Until the final curtain call, life goes on. As the saying goes "keep hope alive!," but lets do it today---in life.

For more information and to see how you can help increase Ben's chances go to http://www.bensfight.org/.
And check out this 8-year old's blog at http://www.superherobenfightglioblastoma.blogspot.com/.
To find out more about Ben's treatment go to http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/

I Have A Dream

Today I felt my life change for the better. [That's a statement right, "I felt?" But, boy what a feeling!!!] The chains of bondage were broken a long time ago, and I am responsible for the lingering affect they have had on my life. No More!!! The lure of mediocrity is often times appealing because of its ease. But that life: It's not for me!

The inspiration that people think I am, is the inspiration I am going to be. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Anything that I touch will turn to gold. I will live a life of service but will no longer yield the open invitation for others to use me as a door mat. I've destroyed the walls of my box and live expectantly in the moment. I will affect life, life will NOT affect me. I will live outside of my comfort zone by 1st: doing things out of the ordinary, and 2nd: being extraordinary. I am who God says I am, and that is all that matters. There are too many deeply rooted passions that burn that He has planted and been cultivating within the uncharted depths of my heart. It's time to shed light on the vision, and go after the dream and all that I want and that God wants for me.

Like I said in the beginning, today, I felt my life change for the better. Follow my dream as UGoDream and let's see where life takes us!!!!

One Hundred Times

In Matthew 19:27-30, Peter questioned to Jesus his decision to follow him due to the things and people he lost and left behind. Peter, a married man, walked away from his family to follow Christ. The other eleven disciples also left wives, children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends--all to follow Christ. Because I know how the evil angels whisper questions in my ear, I can imagine that Peter was the only one bold enough to actually question Jesus about his conflict. He had seen the miracles, and lives being changed. He believed--most days--that he made the right decision, but the right decision doesn't always keep you warm at night, or give you comfort in your loneliness, or even confidence in your absence.

I too have asked God many questions because, as a thinker, my life is filled with questions. And in the uncertainty, absence of answers--and let's just be real here--down right lack of faith, I have often times retreated back to the comfort zone for security. Having experienced loss, hurt, disappointment, feelings of being taken advantage of and abused, or my least favorite FEAR have been my fiercest opponents thus far. But as the fight between moving forward and being comfortable rages on, I find it harder and harder to retreat back, because "back" doesn't have it's same fervour. The colors are faded, the people are dull, the food is bland, the environment is not the same. Or is it? I think that everything is still the same, familiar even, but with each step forward I experience something new, something better. I get an indication of how things could be if I just put some Dr. Scholl's in my stilettos and kept marching forward.

Just like I have questioned God, He has given me many answers. Lately, He's been a little quiet, because He was waiting on me to step out on faith and do something He asked me to do. I did it, and I question it because the potential hurt from I dare not fathom, but in the end, I know it will be worth it. Jesus understood Peter's position; He understood the sacrifice. However, Jesus reassured Peter that what he and the other disciples thought they lost was really only an investment that would multiply a hundredfold.

Although Jesus would make the ultimate sacrifice, he still understood the sacrifices of the disciples and how it affected them on their level, as God understands us. The reward is as valid today as it was then, "if" we believe.



Thanks to Rev. K. Davenport (associate minister, El Bethel Baptist Church, Redford, MI) for his sermon "What's In It For Me?"

Untitled

The basketball community is large, but on days like this it's oh so small.

When the final buzzer sounds, the final season ends, the last tear is shed, the last light is turned off, you are left with not so much memories of all the wins and losses you experienced over the years, but the relationships you've had, and for some maintained. As the years pass, you may forget some of their names but you never forget their faces. You never forget the hours in the gym practicing, the open gyms, the road trips and locker room mischief. I'll never forget the faces and names of many of the women and men I have had the opportunity to play the game with because they all have had some kind of impact on my life. As our lives move us from one level to the next, we appreciate those times, some fewer than others, when our paths cross one again.

Today the basketball community grieves for the death of our fellow sister--Ebony Dickinson. She was definitely one of those people who left her name imprinted on the tablets of your heart along with her face because she had such a lovely spirit, and always rocked a smile. Not to mention she was a dog-ass player!

Although at times like these we may question to intent and purpose of God, especially when we turn on the news, or look outside our window and we see so much hatred and disdain. But God is an awesome God, and even in these somber times, He's still God. The God who, when we wake up each morning, adorns us with new mercies; yet another chance to try to get it right---to try to get better. If He never did another thing for us, He would still be God. His plan is never flawed.

But today, of all days, I can't help but to employ you to find purpose in your pain. This life is but a vapor, and we all have the opportunity to make a difference and live it to it's fullest. It's our decision whether we do or we don't. What's the point of living in fear, when tomorrow is not promised?

Rest In Peace Ebony Dickinson.

Plan B

Today I want to challenge your way of thinking.

We have all been taught when pursuing our goals, dreams and ambitions, we should always have a back-up plan—a Plan B—just in case things don’t work out.

But what does your Plan B do to your Plan A? You Plan A is the thing you desire most. It is what you want in your heart, who or what you really want to be. What actually happens when your Plan B takes effect? If you fall back on your plan B that means that plan A fails. You have exhausted all of your efforts and done all that you could to achieve your dream and it just didn’t happen. There was absolutely nothing else you could have done. You pushed the envelope, operated outside of your comfort zone, walked out on the ledge, and took that leap—or even jump—of faith. Things just didn’t work out. So now you have Plan B.

This is where I want to challenge your thinking. How can you actually put forth all your efforts to achieve your goals, when you also have to simultaneously develop your back up plan? Plan B serves as a cushion, and the bad thing about having a cushion is that you really don’t exceed your limits because you know that there is something always there to catch you. The sense of urgency is loss, and replaced by contentment and mediocrity. Yes, your Plan B still allows you to pay your bills, live in that nice house, drive that nice car, but not you hate your job, you have an attitude with everyone in your life, you dread waking up in the morning and you always talking to other about what you would have done, could have done, or should have done if your Plan A succeeded. In reality, what does Plan B really offer you?

So what happens if you decide to really have faith in yourself and your ambitions? Ask me what my Plan B is I’m going to tell you I don’t have one. All I have is a Plan A. Ask me what I’m going to do if my Plan A fails? I’m going to tell you, I’m going to get another Plan A. I’m going to find another desire and I’m going to work just as long, just as hard and be just as persistent in order to attain it. I have to succeed because I cannot accept anything less. There is nothing else. Total, and complete dedication cannot fail too many times—Benjamin Franklin, Michael Jordan, Heinz 57, Raja Bell, Chauncy Billups, Ben Wallace, Bill Gates, Martin Luther King, Jr., Madame C.J. Walker, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, Jermaine Jackson, Malcolm X, etc. How many rainy days did these people have before their Plan A succeeded. Theses people pursued their dreams, and when things seemed like they were failing, they dug in deep and pursued it harder, with more intensity, and they succeeded.

Throughout history people have risked all they had and sacrificed so much in their pursuit of happiness—they did it.  Why can’t you?

Behind Your Neighbor's Walls

Every day of the week we come into contact with people who seem as if they have it all together. These may be people in our families, on our jobs, on television, in magazines—throughout the world. We continuously compare ourselves to other people but we never really know what they are going behind the façade they act out day-to-day.

I recall an instance a while ago a good friend of mines emailed me while on a business trip. I had touched base with him because he was on my mind. He expressed to me in his reply email that a good friend of his had passed away earlier that week. The man was of the movie star-type: tall, dark hair, deep blue eyes. He was one of top performers in his company, in his industry for that matter, and the "humblest of God’s creatures." He was that person always there to lend a helping hand when needed, no matter what. He was a friend to a lot of people and would truly be weeks. But my friend's friend, sometime on a Tuesday, his friend took his life.

We never know what is going on behind the walls that others put up. A lot of times we ourselves hold onto so many negative emotions. For some reason we have it in our head that whatever the problem may be we can take care of it on our own. But life was not meant to be experienced alone.

In the Bible Jesus says to “love your neighbor as yourself.” But most of us love others a lot more than we do ourselves. Often the reason why we don’t do some things is not because of how we feel about ourselves, but how we feel for others. So many of us are living in self-imposed restraints in a prison we have built brick by brick with the thoughts that constantly engulf our minds daily. On the outside some of us are the most sincere and well put together of people; always willing to lend a helping hand. But imagine for a moment, how much more fulfilling your life can be if you allowed other people to reach in and supply you with the same love you exhibit to everyone else. Imagine that instead of worrying about others thinking we are weak, or we are not who they think we are, we make the decision to improve by reaching out to others for the same help we provide others.

Think of how much better life can be if we can get "behind our neighbor's walls."

Eat So They Can!!! October 17th

Greetings all!

Saturday, October 17, 2009 will mark an event that no one should want to miss. This is a weekend of the global event called Eat So They Can!!!, where hundreds of people from around the world will sieze the opportunity to commune together over lunch or dinner as an opportunity to raise money for those who do not have the opportunity to enjoy the privilege. A space has been reserved at Royal Oak Middle School from 1:00pm - 3:00pm and a suggested donation of $20 is requested to benefit is amazing cause. Only $20 dollars!!!

Okay ladies I know what you $20 dollars could be easing in on your hair do, your nails, or feet routine, or fellas that weekly hair cut or whatever personal treat you want to indulge in. The opportunity to spend money that you would otherwise spend on any of these things or just going out with family or friends for a nice lunch could easily go towards having a great meal, with a number of interesting people and using the money to go to an awesome cause.

I know that in this down economy, things are tight, and the few indulgences we do get we like to keep. The added benefit is that the money you donate here you can claim on your taxes for next year, and that would be a gift that keeps on giving because imagine what your philanthropy throughout the year can reward you with at the end of the year.

We all want. We want a job, or a new job. A nice house, a nice car, the dine at the nicest restaurants. We envision ourselves living the life of the Great Gatsby or In the Fab Lane, but the constant truth in life that has been proven over hundreds of years is this: In order for you to get where you want to go faster, help someone else to get there. Your $20 donation, and a little bit of time can go a long way into changing the lives of millions of people.

The seeds you sow now, will determine the harvest you will reap in the future.

More information on this event will be coming in the future. If you have any questions or comments please send them to: eatsotheycan2009@gmail.com

For the Love of.......Me

ME. Me is the person I wake up with in the morning, the person I have to pull away from the pillow. Me pushes the snooze butter four of five times before consciousness begins to win the battle. Me gets up in the morning, eats breakfasts, gets dressed and goes to work. Sometimes me decides to put on make-up, other times all natural will do. Me works all day, then goes to the gym in the evening. Maybe me will pick up a quick dinner after a nice work out, or go home and try to check emails, or go see a loved one, lover or friend for a little while just to get some "these are the people me chooses to love time in." Me gets home and stays up trying to check emails, or thinking through the days events, the days problems or how me wishes this or that could have gone differently. Me is the person I see when I look in the mirror everyday, the only person I have to answer to, the only person who has constantly been on my team.

We all have a me. But me is the person who we treat the worst. We rely on the acceptance, desires, wants and needs of others to overpower and overshadow the needs of me. Me has been there from day one, so we take his/her presence for granted. We don't show the love that we should because it is more important in many instances for me to take a backseat to what I want to do. and I is selfish. I want a warm body to lay next to at night. I want you to think like I think, and act like I want you to act. I will sacrifice me just so he or she won't feel bad, and I won't hurt their feelings, or for him or her to like me or because I want that job, and that promotion, and that house, and that car and that life. But what about me?

Me sits back and I just keep on going. But me is the one that is getting hurt, because me is the one I see everyday in the mirror and looks deeply with those honest eyes and without saying a word speaks volumes. And I understand, but when I turn away from the mirror it's like I forget about me. What about me?

Me just says be real. Me knows the wavering of people and the type of disappointment and pain this life can offer due to the actions of others, but me also knows the hurt, because we I hurt, me hurts too. And me sees all the decisions, and hears all the thoughts that rumbles loudly on a daily basis. Me understands the selfish rationality that makes us choose the easy thing as opposed to the right thing for.....ME.

But at the end of the day, me understands that this life is short. It is only a vapor. Me knows that the best rewards comes from the greatest sacrifices. Me know that those sacrifices are difficult, and uncomfortable and painful. Me has always been the #1 fan. So instead of I wanting them to love me. How about we all do it For the Love of......ME!!!!

Laugh It Off

A storm, according to Webster’s dictionary is defined as a disturbed or agitated state. In life, we are either getting ready to go into a storm, in the middle of a storm, or just getting out of a storm. That is the cycle. But storms, tests, trials are present to teach us things.
But why do we go through storms?

In a quest to be all that you can be, and to pursue your dreams which I often employ all of you all to do, you are going to go through storms. The quest to do better, be better, and get better is one that will take you through a multitude of storms. Storms are a way of preparing you for the future you have planned for yourself. God uses storms to prepare use because it’s the best way to teach us and take us to new heights.

But in order for us to move forward, we have to relinquish the past. Forget about it. A lot of times we are held in the same state, or place in our lives because we refuse to let go of the past. We hold onto anger, fear, past hurts, and deeds. We condemn ourselves, and we allow others to do the same also. But as my pastor always says there are two types of people in this world—the caught and the uncaught—but we’re all guilty of something. Don’t let what you have been through or done affect where you are going. Stop talking about the past. It’s like a child with a scrape on his knee who keeps taking off his band-aid to show everyone. He’s delaying the healing process. Trust, there was a reason you went through or did a lot of things, because if you think really hard, you would not be where you are today if it weren’t for all the things that happened in your yesterdays.

This is a lesson I have had to learn for myself, and I’m still learning. But I realize where my weaknesses lie, and I move forward to attain the goal and win the prize that I am destined for. When you are striving to go somewhere, the enemy will do all he can to keep you down, but instead of trying to fight him: Laugh it off. When you are in a storm and it seems like everything is going wrong, and things just keep on happening. Laugh. When the people you are closest too hurt you: Laugh it off. When people always try to pull you down by bringing up what your past: Laugh it off. The battle begins in your mind. You defeat the enemy by tricking him. Making him think you are unaffected. He does not use creative measures to get under your skin. For all of those who remember playing “thumps”, you evoked the most pain and advantage by thumping your opponent’s knuckles in the same spot. You wouldn’t even have to do it hard, because with patience, and in little time, they would give. That’s the same thing with the enemy. And he will use the things and people closest to you to do just that. But when you laugh, it actually becomes contagious, and you’ll feel a quiet strength arise from within that will help you overcome any obstacle.

So remember, the next time you’re in a storm. Laugh your way through it. In spite of everything: Practice Joy.

Think

“The single greatest tool you have for changing your life, creating personal success, being happy, and living the life you wish, is within you. It is the power of active thought.”

This quote by Robin Sieger is very powerful, and many of you will say that it’s something you already know. Unfortunately, there is a difference between knowing and acting. We know smoking crack is addictive, but many people still try it. We know that smoking cigarettes cause cancer, and many still do it. We know that obesity can lead to life threatening cardiovascular problems, and many still overeat, refuse to exercise and succumb to ITIS.

Your mind is the most advanced organic matter known in the universe. It is a labyrinth of information that the most renowned scientists have yet to completely understand and analyze.
Your mind is the source of all your emotions, belief and abilities. It is capable of solving every challenge you encounter. Therefore, you’re ability to change your life and to achieve success is found solely in your ability to harness and master the power of thought. We learn that you are what you eat. But you also are what you think. If you think you will never be successful, you will always fail. If you think you will never be married, you will always be alone. If you think you can’t do something, you never will. It sounds so simple, and it is; however, it is also equally complex. So a man thinketh, so he is. We’ve all heard this before. But there is a big difference between knowing and doing.

Why? Because we have forces, internal and external fighting to harness the same power that you are capable of mastering and using for yourself. You may have had someone tell you that you would never be anything. You may have had people call you ugly more than once. You may have convinced yourself that you’ve messed up too many times that there is no way things will ever turn around for you. You may have even convinced yourself that you are not worth all of the trouble and you don’t deserve the best. Your mind is more powerful than any computer in existence, but people constantly relinquish that power when they believe in the many untruths that life presents.

Your thoughts and your willpower reside in your mind, and if you are an average human you have 100% control over both of them. Reach out your right hand. Now gently place it on the top of your head. What enabled you to make you place your hand on your head exactly when and where you wanted? Some people will try to take a scientific approach and use big words for the functions that make that all possible. But the final analysis is that it all starts in your mind.

“Is it really such a leap of faith to imagine that the same though, the same willpower that enabled you to raise your arm could also enable you to change your life?”

Solitary Confinement

When you’re moving from good to great; when you’re pursuing your dreams and aspirations, you will face adversity and many will also face and submit to a disabling demon called loneliness. It’s amazing how when you begin to do something against what everyone else thinks you should do; or when you make decisions that everyone else is against, you begin to struggle with the question of who to put first.

Don’t say that you always put yourself first. If everyone put themselves first [well God, then themselves] more people would be out here living the life that they were destined to live. I always reference kids, because they are our greatest teachers. We always ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. My little cousin said she wanted to be three things. When they tell us, we say “okay, that’s good!” We are just happy they want to be something. But why, as we grow up we begin to put restrictions on what we can be? We put more value on our social life than we do our personal life because at least if we have a social life we aren’t alone; regardless, of whether or not our dreams have come true.

It’s difficult when you try to change for the better, I wholeheartedly agree with you. I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t struggle with it myself. When you try to break the mold, or the curse; be something, and do something that is different from what you’ve done or started to do. But don’t cede to the pressures of the multitude because you are afraid to be alone.

Sorry to inform you: but the journey from good to great can, and most often will, be a journey of loneliness. You cannot take everyone to the top. Just look at Mike Vick. Many will have to make a healthy separation from family and friends. Not saying you won’t like them or love them any less, but because in order for you to continue your journey, and reach your destination, you know that you have to embrace a certain mentality and do certain things. I entitled today’s message solitary confinement because that is what you have to spend some time in order to complete your journey. We all travel different journeys; nonetheless, we all face the exact same demons on that journey. Unfortunately, as you get better, and raise your level, others won’t do the same. It’ll be easier to pull you down, than try to get better. So don’t be afraid, face these demons head on, pursue your dreams; attain your goals.

It will be okay. “Do what you fear the most and the death of fear is certain.” Step out the mold, and continue to move forward. Although you may have many lonely days, you can guarantee that the few relationships you will have—whether they are from the past, present or future—will be the most meaningful and bring you the most joy.

I want to leave you with this thought from Tom Hopkins: “When you die, if you have your family standing over your grave when they throw the dirt over your casket, and maybe two or three close friend, you were successful.” Take a good look at all the people you associate with, and then make a decision to do to be better than good—be great!!!

Relationships Pt. 1

Communication is an art. The downfall of many friendships and relationships is catalyzed by the lack of effective communication. Do you find yourself often not really listening when you’re talking to someone because you’re more concentrated on what you are going to say next? Don’t feel bad, we all do. But what does this do the conversation. People can sense when you’re not listening because your body language speaks volumes. Non-verbal communication makes up more than 60% of total communication, so when you’re sitting there thinking about what you’re going to say next, you’re pretty much flushing the conversation down the drain.

Do you often feel like no one ever listens to you? Do you ever feel like you just can’t express yourself like you want to? I know I have personally wanted to verbally abuse many of the people I have come in contact with. But, people do things for a reason, so before you respond with words, check your actions. And then if you must say something, ask why?

Many people think that because we have mouths we always need to be using them. On the contrary, effective communication has more to do with the non-verbal aspects, than the verbal. To better illustrate my point: how many ears do you have? Two. Very good. And how many mouths do you have? One. Excellent. The anatomy of our bodies tell us how communication should be distributed. We should spend twice as much time listening, than we do talking.

When you listen more, and ask why more often you’ll be able to delve down to the true meaning of what the person you are talking to really wants to say. You’ll be surprised how the mere instinct that someone is really truly listening to you will change even the worst of relationships. Communication is one of the core aspects of our being, but if we cannot do it effectively, we cannot really experience the full value of healthy relationships.

Practice the art of listening. Talk less. Listen more. See how your relationships transform.

Achievement

Achievement is one of the motivators to success. We all want to achieve something, but not everyone is willing to do what’s necessary to achieve. There are two groups of people: achievers and nonachievers. Achievers make up only 5% of the world’s population; the rest are the nonachievers (that’s 95%). The nonachiever daily is achieving nonacheivement and they find it easy to accept their failure to achieve anything of real worth and meaning.

Many of us are raised in environments motivated by nonacheivement. Our loved ones, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, play family, although they are good and upstanding people, are nonachievers. And that’s okay for them.

You may realize that you were in an environment like this. It is an environment where people have given up on their dreams for some reason or another. But please be mindful that you cannot rescue them. The actual will to achieve is not something that can be imposed on anyone from the outside. It is a drive that must come from within. You can’t achieve anything of lasting worth by pushing a nonachiever through doors of knowledge and opportunity if that person isn’t eager to stride through. But again, it is okay. I don’t want you to think that it’s not.

You can only hope that your life will inspire them. And even if it doesn’t, you have the opportunity to set a new standard and singlehandedly elevate your family to another level. That is achievement.

Thanks to Tom Hopkins for today’s inspiration.

Mountaintops

As we grow up, I realized how we stop applying a lot of the little things we learned early in our school days that could be so beneficial to us now—like learning to read. After we learned how to read, we learned how to comprehend what we read—understanding what we read. Then we learned how to summarize what we read—put what we read in our own words. Well why don’t we apply these same principles now?

There is so much information available out here, that it is easy to get confused at which point to start. When you are trying to pursue your dreams, and live your life better than what you’ve been doing in the past, and make changes, it’s easy to get inundated with the question of how or where to start? So what do we do? We find quotes, we read books, seek mentors, question ourselves, question others, questions history, we even try to learn from the music we listen to whether it is gospel, R&B, rap, country, whatever your personal flavor might be. We cut things out of our life, we cut people off, and/or seclude ourselves from the rest of reality trying to catapult ourselves into the future of what we envision ourselves to be. Then we try to apply what we learned from these avenues of information to our lives, without ever really taking time to comprehend the foundation of the material, and being able to put it into our own words—and more importantly, our own actions.
What I have learned over the past few days is that no matter how much of other people’s success we read or hear about, it’s not our success. Please, don’t think that’s a naïve statement because it’s not. Although we know other people’s success is not our own, many of us still try to live vicariously through other people’s journeys. Trust me, I struggle with this daily because I read so much good material, helpful material, but it’s still not mines. What worked for one person does not necessarily mean it’s going to work for me. But that didn’t keep me from trying?

Where we get caught up is trying to apply other people’s steps to success to our own lives. But their path is different from our path. We don’t know the whole story; we only know what they choose to tell us. No matter how truthful someone may be they still don’t tell it all because they tell us what they perceive to be the formula that took them from point A to point Z, but if we really got a recount of their life, we may perceive it to be something different.
What is perception? Perception is our ability to summarize something in our own point of view. Our perception is based upon our experiences, and we grow in direct proportion to the experiences we have and the knowledge we attain and apply. Your direct application of what you perceive and are able to revise to fit your present circumstances and situation is what will make you successful. What John and Jane Doe did to overcome what you are going through worked for them. Don’t try to apply what they did, find the hidden concepts that helped them come with the solution and derive your own. What we do when we read—we grow, we learn, we get better. Just because you are not where you see yourself, doesn’t mean you are who you were. We don’t read for the answers, we read for the knowledge that will help us derive our own answers. We don’t read for solutions, we read the solutions and see how we can revise them to transform our own lives.

We live life to fuse three people into one—the person other people think we are, the person we think we are, and the person we really are. Don’t rely on others to help you become who you are, learn from their experiences and write your own story. Then tell your story to the world. This is the perpetual cycle of growth and development. How much you grow is up to you. Just stop trying to climb to the top of someone else’s mountain. Guaranteed yours is higher.
Be Blessed!!!

Preparation

We all like to set goals in our life. For some these goals are New Year’s resolutions. Every year we set these “resolutions” in an attempt to change our lives and become better in our lives. More often than none, many of these resolutions go out the window before February. So what then? We wait the entire year for another opportunity to try it again. But look how much we lose in that year? We could have easily been ten pounds lighter, so many classes closer to graduation, so much closer to owning that home, or getting that car, or being out of debt.
So why do we give up so easily? Because we get discouraged. Because we might bite off more than we can chew. Or because we believe that everything we want should come quickly and without struggle. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. It took time for you to get to where you are. So it’ll take time to not only break that cycle, but also to began another journey.

What is so amazing is that everyone makes the resolution to have a year better than the last. But what about the preparation. Really, you should prepare a great year in order to have a great year. It’s in the preparation that we grow. It’s in the valley that we acquire the strength to climb the mountain.

So make this year your journey in preparation for what and who you want to be. Don’t give up. Day-by-day take baby steps to your goal. Sooner than you think, you’ll get there.

Decision Making

We all have expectations. Not just for others, but for ourselves. We want to live a certain type of lifestyle, have certain things, be around certain people, go certain places, etc. We envision ourselves being a certain type of person. But when these expectations are not reality, and you don’t see any suggestion that it will ever be a reality—that becomes a difficult gulp to swallow.
Logically, most of us can give ourselves the best advice because logically we know and understand that anything that we may want takes time. We may not know what we want today, we just want something. We don’t know what it is, we just want it now. Yet in that spirit of “the now” we find ourselves diving deep into a depression because we have let other negative emotions like hurt, lack, envy, loneliness, anger, stress, discouragement build up. It seems as if you are going backwards while trying to move forward. We all remember how it feels to try to walk up an escalator that is going down (same thing).

The truth is, we will continue to feel this way. We will continue to experience these same emotions and depression if we do not make a change. This takes me; however, back to my point on logic. As humans we are capable of determining and deciphering so much information. We acquire information for so many different sources. Despite how much information we have, that still doesn’t keep us from making decisions emotionally. So now the quest is to find out how do you balance your emotions with your logic? How do you make your subconscious believe what you can reason consciously?

Unfortunately, these are questions I struggle with daily, but in that struggle, there is growth, there is strength, and when the puzzle comes together the elevator won’t seem so hard to climb. One thing I am certain, there will only be another down escalator in some other facet of life that will seem at the time insurmountable, but with each struggle we will be raised to a new level.
See you at the top.

Let It Pour Over

What is the one thing that you are so passionate about that in spite of what circumstances you may be facing you always “go hard” and you always give it your all? For me, it is working out. For you it may be something else—church, clubbing, reading, work, school, etc. For me, the gym is home. It is a place where I do more than just condition my body; I also condition my mind, will and emotions. I was at the gym last night, in my own world, when a man whom I had never met interrupted Beyoncé “Ring the Alarm” on my iPod. I did not mind. That is what they invented the pause button. He said something to me that really provoked my thinking: “If your work ethic at the gym carries over into your work life, I know you have to be successful.” It is amazing how God uses other people to speak to us.

Success is something I believe most of us want and we all can achieve. Sadly, success is something few ever attain and it is not because of lack of ability, but the lack of work ethic. We live in such an instantaneous world where we expect everything to happen overnight, and when we want it, that we do not appreciate what the journey to success provides. So many give up. Ben Stein said that “it is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated…it is finished when it surrenders.” So many people have surrendered dreams of success and victory because they did not get what they were looking for when they wanted it, and they would not complete the journey.
Malachi 3:10 says “‘bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.’” (NIV) Many self-help authors/speakers say that the energy you secrete into the universe is exponentially returned to you in the form of benefit or favor. Regardless where your belief lies, we all have something in our life we are passionate about. Something we do that always makes us “feel” good, accomplished, control, etc. The question is what is that something? Is it the gym, your church, your family, career, social life, networking, music, dance, ministry, etc?
Whatever it is, think about all that you put into it and what you get out of it. Not just the material benefits, but how it makes you feel and how the relationships you have in those places have flourished. Now think of how much effort and benefit you have put towards that “thing”; that passion. You will see that what you receive from it is directly correlated to what you put into it. Now think about those areas of your life that you feel are lacking. Now what if you took the same energy, drive and determination you put towards what you loved to do, and applied it to those areas? If you put that energy towards how you treated others, how would much better would your relationships be? How successful could your prayer life be? How many more career opportunities would come your way? How much more could you learn?

Just think of the possibilities. “Whatever the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.”