26 Days | 14 Hours | 49 Minutes | and counting....

Right now I'm laying on the couch just awaken from a much needed nap writing this weeks' sentry. Of course it will be a few hours when I finally hit "publish" but today I wanted to set the stage a little bit more. This week I received an email from a dear friend "just because" encouraging me to keep going and not let fear or doubt stop me from pursuing what I set out to do. At the time I read the email I didn't "need" the message; however, I tucked it away like you do one of those good sermons on Sunday for a rainy day.

Although I can use the message, it triggered a series of thoughts that led me to want to say this: this journey has not been easy, and when I looked back there are A LOT of failures in my life that have prepared me for it. There are some good days and some not so good days, but the fire still burns within. And it's "the fire" that burns directing a purpose that we all have inside us. That purpose is unique from person to person: however, the sum of those purposes are a great work in which none of us can phathom the outcome.  In order for the purpose to be lived and the journey to be successful you have to wake up each and every day with the belief that "you can do it" because there will be struggles, there will be disappointments, there will be frustrations and there will be tears; however, there will be even more smiles, more confidence, more validation, more joy and more love.  If you can wake up every morning with the belief in yourself powered by the strength of God (or the universe, or whatever higher power you believe in) you have already won the prize.  Now all that's left is to finish the race. 

Today I am 26 days out from my first show - I am tired, my energy levels are low, my physical strength levels are declining and coffee is my best friend; however, I am so much stronger in many other ways and that strength gives me the extra power needed to takeon whatever is left to come the last few weeks. 

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)

Diet

I can't tell you how many Jesus's I prayed to last week that the second diet adjustments would result

in some kind of movement. I am happy to say that they did. This past week I had to travel for work on Thursday to Hannover, Germany to the Internation Truck Auto Show. It is about a 5 hour train ride from where I live and only a day trip. Trips and contest prep can be like oil and water if you are not prepared. I made sure I had all my leaks packed for the day. The last time I was home I invested in a meal management bag from the company FitMark Bags. I can carry up to 6 meals in it plus my wallet, iPad, phone chargers and other small things. It has been a great investment and a good way to stay on track anywhere I go.

Checked-in with The Boss today and have the agenda for the week. I have been rotating my carbs so 50g rice one day and 100g rice cakes (plain, lightly salted) the next (I love rice cake days).  The Boss says we won't go to absolutely no carbs as we want the body to use the carbs (not the protein) for energy.  I go the next couple of days on the same level, and if nothing changes by Tuesday, then I have my directive of how much turkey to reduce in my diet.  Now it's a closer look on a day-to-day basis for the development to keep the weight trending down.

Mood wise I find myself being more and more introverted and trying to maximize my personal time to just rest. Naps are a bigger element in my life right now especially on the weekends due to the lower energy levels. 

Training

Training is much more of a mental battle as it is a physical one. My strength is not where it once was. I'm still pushing heavy weights for my main movements - decline bench, shoulder press, barbell rows, squats - and still hitting legs 2x a week - one day squats the other only day leg extensions and leg curls.  I have a couple more weeks of leg training before The Boss removes that element.  I'm doing cardio daily for at least 30 minutes the past few days I've been doing 40 minute sessions just to get in the extra movement. My Jawbone UP keeps me on track with gauging my movement levels and if I need to pick it up a bit. 

Weight

As I wrote on the diet section I finally saw some improvement in the weight department. This morning I clocked in at 72.8kg/160.5lbs (the lowest so far being 72.7kg. So that is approximately 1kg/2.2lbs since we last came together. Again, when I started this cut I was 85kg/187.4lbs. I'm down 12.2kg/26.9lbs. I've done this over 5 months. Not over night, slow and steady.  The goal for next week is in the 71kg region. I know I have more diet changes on the horizon.
Important note: if you DO NOT have a scale at home to weigh yourself everyday you are not serious about wanting to improve your Physique. The scale and the mirror are your two tools for progress and I will throw in a third - pictures!!! Get a scale and weigh yourself naked each and every morning and keep records of it. No excuses! 

Progress Photos

This week I had to take the progress photos back to the house and do them myself. I'm started to see more veins in the shoulders and chest region and my legs are starting to lean out more and more.  I'm looking forward to leaning out week a little more week by week until the show.

33 Days | 16 Hours | 2 Minutes | 59 seconds and counting....

  "My heart is a traitor," said the boy to the alchemist..."It does't want me to go on."  That makes sense," the alchemist answered.  "Naturally it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've won." --from, The Alchemist

This was honestly a tough week on many different levels and the voice in the back of my mind that used to whisper "what ifs" was yelling them at me this week.  I am 33 days from my first show, and I have to sometimes remind myself of that one thing - this is my first.  I have never set out to do anything to half-ass it.  That's not in my DNA.  And I am definitely not one to quit.  I would be lying to you when I say that the journey is all roses and butterflies.  You experience such a vast variety of emotions all in a given day -- sometimes an hour -- that you really have to focus on the voice on the inside that's real.  The first few weeks takes some getting adjusting to with the diet and not being able to do/have certain things, but it passes easily and quickly.  The next several weeks you find a rhythm.  Things begin to flow, you learn more about your body and you have a significant increased "moments of clarity."  For some reason things just start making sense (not even related to bodybuilding).  Then you reach where I am now, the point when things start to stop and it's you vs. you and your body to get to where you want to be.  When I thought things had gotten "real" and were hard in the past is nothing how I feel now.  Now it is hard.  My energy levels are definitely not the same but you still have to go hard in the gym.  So it becomes a war of mental toughness -- that in spite of what would be a "normal" situation you are working under abnormal conditions to push the envelope.  It is at this time when you think about turning back.  You question what you are doing?  Why you are doing it? If it's worth it? But in the end I can tell you it is.  As written wonderfully in the Alchemist, "tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.  And that no heart has ever suffered when it god in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and eternity."

Diet
My diet this week changed twice.  Once on Monday, and an additional mid-week change with a reduction of calories.  I currently eat turkey, broccoli, paprika, rice, rice cakes and romaine lettuce.  That is all folks.  Rice and rice cakes rotate every other day, and they are both consumed at the end of the day.  I also take a probiotic because broccoli tears up my stomach - 150%.  I don't digest it well and it's very gassy.  When I don't take the probiotic, I find myself making myself burp to release the pressure.  I know what baby's feel like when they are not burped properly #nobododygottimeforthat.
The Boss gave the instruction that the diet stays the same until Wednesday.  And if everything continues to move, then no changes, if not, then I already know from Thursday what changes have to be made.  I am praying to every name of GOD that things continue to move.  I keep telling myself -5 more weeks, then I can have my slice  (or 2) of pizza.  Anyone who know's and loves me knows to make sure I get a slice on Oct. 25th (Pepperoni please!).  :)

Training
With the first reduction of calories I was still okay energy wise at the beginning of the week, with the second, I was definitely feeling it.  My energy levels are not 100%, but I have been doing a good job of timing my meals around my workout so that I can still go hard in the gym.  The hardest days were always on leg day (1) I do it on a Tuesday evening after work (before prep I trained legs on Saturdays) and (2) it was the first day I felt my energy ran out pretty quickly.  Now I train legs 2x/week doing the "Beintisch" or leg tables - hamstring curls and leg extensions on the second day.  This gives me the opportunity to really push in both exercises because normally after squats I am toast.  These days my energy level doesn't last most days and I also forced into more naps so that I can get my rest.  My daily activities are now reduced to things that I "must" do.  I go to work, meal prep, get in the gym and do what I have to do and push as hard as I need to push, do my posing and go home.  By the time, I need another meal - STAT!!

But this is the part of the game that I love.  No matter how I feel, when I step into the gym nothing else matters.  I am okay.

Weight
Last week I wrote about my weight barricade.  Well the same barricade is the reason I had two diet changes this week.  And I will also admit that yesterday I had a mini breakdown  by myself at home because the scale still wasn't budging.  I was still around 74kg (73.9kg yesterday to be exact).  This goes along with the planned vs. reality.  As of 2 weeks ago, I still had 7kg to go before my show date and for the past two weeks I have been on this plateau.  So much for plans, right?!?!  And imagine, I still have to remain calm and positive and stress free.  In reality, I started this prep at 85kg and I am 74kg.  That's 11kg/24.25lbs - no minor feat.  So my body is saying a lot of expletives wondering why and fighting further loss of weight.  This morning I clocked in at 73.6kg (Thank you GOD!!).  I think it got the message.


Progress Photos
Here are this week's progress photos.  Independent of my weight loss barricade, I have been seeing additional changes in the mirror, especially around my shoulders and abs.  My legs are still leaning out a bit as well and my face is thin.  This lady at work this week told me I was "half the size than I was before."  A little bit of an exaggeration, maybe?  But I got what she meant.  This blog is getting harder to write, but I am committed to seeing it through to the end, so until next week.....

 

40 Days | 18 Hours | 2 Minutes | and Counting....

This last week was pretty challenging.  Balancing the "have to do" and "want to do" is a constant battle.  I work full-time in a high stress environment.  There is always something to do, something coming up, immediate deadlines and unforeseen new issues that have to be tackled.  This week I had a three day workshop where colleagues came into town so that we can sit together and align strategically our commodity across the world.  Of course during these events everyone wants to go for lunch together and a night out for dinner.  Since the workshop was held at my location I did a lot of the logistical work, local planning and chauffeuring.  But lunch and dinner I cannot do.  There are no cheat days.  I'm in prep and under no circumstances is compromising my diet and the hard work I've put into this journey on the agenda.  So I joined, carrying my trusty FitMark meal management bag along with my prepared meals.  So while they all ate pizza (which is the one thing I am craving this prep) and other meal varieties, I ate my turkey, mushrooms and asparagus.  It was; nonetheless, a week of early mornings and late nights and rerouting my schedule/plan to fit into the same 24 hours with some additional stress. But when it's something you really want, you'll do anything to make it happen.

The next few weeks are not going to be any easier with a planned one day work trip and a 2 day workshop that will be a 4 hour commute for me (without traffic) two days in a row because I still need to train and have everything situated with my diet.  It's in these weeks, quite frankly, that I worry the most because these weeks are hard.  This week from a sleep/rest standpoint it wasn't my best performance.  Unfortunately, to still get everything done that I needed to do sleep and rest was sacrificed.  And it reflected on the scale.  I can't explain what it does emotionally, but at the same time it pushes me to be better and find a better way to accomplish what I need to do and do it within the same 24 hours everyone else has.  So as additional challenges and stress arise in the next couple of weeks, I'll make adjustments and make it through.  I continuously repeat to myself - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  This for sure is the truth.


Diet
My diet this week consisted of turkey, mushroom, asparagus, sugar snap peas, romaine lettuce, paprika, rice and rice cakes.  Fresh broccoli is going out of season and I cannot always find it but I just checked in with The Boss and frozen broccoli is back up to the plate.  Mushrooms and asparagus have been nixed out my diet for the upcoming weeks.  Mushrooms because they can stay in your system for up to 24-hours (didn't know that) and in this process we want things to keep moving at all times and sitting mushrooms don't fit into the equation.  Asparagus because it's mostly just water and doesn't really add anything.  Broccoli also has protein which is great.  Just when I thought shit had gotten real, it's getting realer.  Losing the fat hangs on the following measures: doing more and/or eating less.  We have pushed doing more for some time now, and since I work full-time there are not so many hours in the day left to push without compromising something.  So now it's time to eat a little less.  The new instructions also include a calorie reduction this week which will for sure be tough.
I posted this status this week on Facebook a little out of frustration but also because I have filtered a lot of questions and comments from various people regarding my diet both before my prep and now during.  My diet actually doesn't bother me because this is something I want to do.  Sure it can be inconvenient and tough at times because I choose not to indulge in other things but I am happy with the decision that I made and I am pursuing a goal.

I get it, that people will be people and they will not understand.  But it would be nice at times for them to just straight say "hey, I don't quite understand what it is you are doing, but I support you and I see/applaud your dedication."  My journey is not for anyone else to understand.  And when you find that thing that you would sacrifice something or anything for, you will also see that the sacrifice is easy.  I don't feel like I've lost anything, instead what I have gained (besides muscle) cannot be taken away from me because I am stronger not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

On a side note:  Also to make sure I protect my immune system I eat 1/2 lemon in the morning and 1/2 in the evenings.  I can actually say I am surprised at how much I like eating lemons.  It's actually pretty refreshing.


Training
This week I split my legs into 2 days.  Squats on one day and leg extensions and leg curls for high reps on another day.  I've really been pushing it more in the gym and training a bit longer, incorporating drop sets on almost everything and adding in some supersets.  I train with a sweat shirt on to stay warm at all times.  I am starting to lose power faster and I may not be able to hit the same numbers in the sets as I used to without taking a pause before going again, but all in all I still feel pretty strong and this is the part of the whole day that I love the most.  No matter what and how I feel the whole day, when I step in the gym I always feel better.  With the diet adjustments this week, training will be more of a challenge, but I will just turn the volume up and find the zone and make it happen the best way I know how.


Weight
As I mentioned earlier, this week from a sleep/rest standpoint was not the best and it definitely reflected on the scale.  This morning I clocked in at 74.1kg (where my goal was 73kg).  The lowest I was at this week was 73.9kg.  I definitely have to start incorporating more rest and relaxation in my day.  So I will decrease my social media appearances in the next weeks, as well as limit texting, messaging, etc... pretty much "unplug" myself.  6 weeks to go - there is no holds bar at this point.  It's all or nothing.  With the adjustments to my diet and still pushing the training and maintaining the cardio, I am hopeful to see some meaningful movement over the next week(s).  It's always good to remember where you came from, and when I started to lose weight for this competition I was 85kg.  Yes I still have a ways to go, but taking the time to be happy for what has been achieved so far is what fuels me going into the next adjustments.


Progress Photos
I'm starting to see more vascularity coming through which is exciting.  Although the scale didn't quite move this week like I wanted it, I am seeing changes in the mirror with more definition where there was minimal or none before.  Both the scale and the mirror (and photos) are the tell tell signs of progress or lack thereof.  My legs are starting to lean out more and there are more visible hint of lines and separation coming in (can we say whoop! whoop!), a few more kilograms and I will have the much eluded 6 pack.  I cannot wait.

Here are updated photos for this week and I will be back next week just a little over a month out from my first competition.  Once again, I thank you all for your love and support as I travel this road to the stage for the first time.

47 Days | 22 Hours | 31 Minutes and Counting

Sometimes you get to a point where you make the decision that at all costs - I will make this happen.  I have been working with the Boss now for over a year and in that time I've learned a lot about trainings and nutrition that I can carry with me for life.  Most of all, he has continually reinforced such an important intangible ingredient in this whole equation - believing.  Before you can do anything you have to believe and then after belief there is "do" - no try, only do (from Star Wars).  If there is a "try" in there, then it will not happen.  There is no middle ground, it is one or the other.  It is build the muscles or lose the weight.  It is have faith, or not have faith.  There is no gray area.

Trust me, many days that I question what I am doing.  I turned 30 years old this year.  I'm relatively late entering this bodybuilding game.  Where many of my friends and family are getting married and planning families, buying/building houses, making their next big career moves upwards -- I'm over here pursuing yet another dream.  One that challenges the "known" timeline of life.  I should be striving for the same things as everyone else - right?!?

It's not that I don't want those things, but I have spent too much time quieting/ignoring that "thing" deep inside.  With every training day, every repetition, every weight increase I am not only building a body, I am building my faith, my courage, my fearlessness.  I am choosing to "believe" that "the plan" that everyone else is following is not necessarily the plan pre-defined for me.  It's not that I don't want those things - because I definitely do -- but to follow your heart to wherever it may lead is the ultimate show of faith.  Now when I wake up in the mornings, I know above all else, that I can do this - "this" being whatever it is I dream of doing.


Diet
I started the week a bit stalled in my weight loss.  It pretty much came to a screeching halt.  So after

talking a bit with the Boss, I took some time and evaluated everything I was current doing and looking for areas of change.  I switched from chicken to turkey, which surprisingly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I always think of turkey as dry and unbearable.  I cooked it like I cook my chicken, so I turned out really well.  I think I will make a video of how I cook my chicken.  Turkey has a bit more protein and I am eating 1.25kg (uncooked)/day.  This is approximately 1,300 calories, give or take.   The rest of the calories are focused on the fillers (e.g. romaine lettuce, broccoli, mushrooms, paprika).  Before I was eating 1900-2000 calories, I am not consuming 1800-1900 calories a day.  The goal is to always be able to eat as many calories as possible while still losing.  

I also find myself needing more water.  Lately I have been up to 7 liters of water a day not including the tea and coffee I drink.  I drink water ALL THE TIME.  I down 1-2 liters in the morning before I have my first meal.  Even during the night when I wake up I still drink water.  Staying hydrated is key.

Training
Training this week was good - really good actually.  Well I take that back, Monday was a bit suspect.  It was international Chest Day - so all the guys were out and I should have went later.  I really focused on getting and keeping a sweat this week really tried to push the intensity.  This was a difficult change from the off-season where things were slower.  Longer rests between sets.  Where the goal was to build and not burn.  My focus was good, and at least for my heavier lifts I still felt strong.  I start to get tired a little faster towards the end.  This week I will split my legs into 2 days.  Hopefully this helps with leaning them out more too.

Cardio
I am doing cardio now 6 days a week (not on the day I squat).  I have increase the time from 20-30 minutes.  Still walking, although I took a nice jog outside yesterday.  Even on the "off" days from training I still get in the cardio.  This helps because I sit 9-10 hours a day at my job and this wreaks havoc on my fat burning.  The more movement I can get on a daily basis the better (then I can still eat food. ;)

Weight
As I said earlier, I saw a halt in my weight loss this week and some adjustments needed to be made.  This morning I clocked in at 74.2kg.  Not my 73kg goal, but I am happy that it has come down and I am right now on my way.  I have 7 weeks to go and I am starting to figure things out more and more to how my body responds to things.

Comparisons 7/28/2014 vs 9/5/2014