I used to write for inspiration, but I think I'm going to go more for truth. The tables of my life have turned drastically, and selflessnenss and understanding has caused an abundance of pain. I've spent so much time asking myself, "what makes people....[insert here and use as many explatives as you want]?", or "why do I always.......[same as before, but probably a few more explatives]?" I'm a person who always wants to be understanding because from my personal experiences, I would want people to do the same for me. The road has definitely been bumpy. But what I realize is that I can be understanding and still have a set standard. You might say duh, but I'm serious. When you live without a standard you'll take anything--and boy have I accepted some [bleep]! Even now I wonder, "what the hell am I doing?" But I'm not the victim, I'm a victor. It is true when they say, "you teach people how to treat you." Beyond all of the experiences good and bad, I'm on a quest to do something and be someone whom many would not believe. A quest to make a change, but first that change must begin in me. I used to be afraid to talk about my life, but that fear has paralyzed me in a place where I find myself often settling--in relationships, jobs, friendships, goals, objectives and life in general. As many books as I've read, none of them have the answers. The journey is a single one. I'm on a road that only I was born on, on a journey to a place only I can go, trying to reach a destinations that many hope to attain. The difference is, I'm no longer resting on hope, but action. So it's time to teach a new lesson. But first things first, I have to deal with the past, the whole past, I'll let you know how that works out.
Until next time.
