61 Days and Counting

I'm a little over 2 months out from my first competition and this week I re-learned the lesson in planning.  I do everything on a routine focusing in on this competition and staying with "the plan".  I eat according the plan, train according to plan, prep my meals on a certain routine, wash my hair on certain days, etc... I go a little overboard with "planning" because it's what I do and it gives me some type of structure to operate in.  And I feel like, as long as things are going as "planned" everything will be okay.  WELL, this week monkey wrench go thrown in "the plan" starting with waking up to a migraine on Friday morning that led into a full fledged attack on my stomach Friday evening followed by a visit to the ER doctor Saturday morning with persistent abdominal pain, nausea and lack of appetite.  The only thing I could think about was my "plan".  Friday, I tried to still stick with the plan, but wasn't able to finish my training session.  Saturday was back day, and the first day of training I've missed in over a year.  But I couldn't even stand up straight let alone trying to walk or even get in a heavy training session.  Sure, I've moved trainings around in a week due to trips and other commitments, but just flat out not training, this was the first in a long time.  In my mind, it was/is a struggle because I have a "plan" and I MUST follow "the plan", right?  Because what would happen if I didn't.  In reality things happen and there is sometimes nothing we can do about it but deal with it and keep it moving.  Plans are great, but they are not "the Bible."   Glad today I was feeling better and the doctor says things are all clear.  Maybe I just needed the rest and it was my body's way of sitting my behind down.  Who knows?  All I know is that I'm looking forward to the upcoming week(s) being healthy and being back in my second home.  Days like this remind me of why I want to even pursue this, and why I must keep going.

Diet
My diet this week was unchanged, but the weight was still coming down.  I've gotten used to the chicken with no salt, and the broccoli is so far the easiest and fastest to prepare and does the job of the extra fill.  Sometimes I do get tired of chewing, but I am happy that I am not yet lacking calories.

Training
This was my second week doing morning trainings.  I must admit, that I will more than likely go back to training in the evenings again this week.  Although I like the morning trainings because it give me a little more time in the evenings, I find that my energy is better later in the day overall.  In addition, if I just want/need more time in the gym, I have an open end on the back-end on the day, than trying to go before work.  I also struggled with pre-workout meal so early in the morning, since eating a large meal before I train is not what's on the menu.  I will still get up earlier in the mornings because I feel the second cardio (walking) session definitely helps and getting movement in at the beginning of the day has helped as well.   So I will focus my heavy training on the back-end of the day and the extra cardio on the front end.  The goal will still get to bed at a reasonable time to get enough sleep.

Weight
This morning I clocked in at 75.2kg, so I achieved my goal from last week.  Next week, 74kg is the goal.  It's one week at a time at this point.  Weighing yourself daily can drive you absolutely crazy.  But when I look at the last weeks and months I can see the trend.  I lose, pick up some, lose, pick up some, lose, pick up some -- but the overall trend is in a downward motion and that is what's most important.

No progress photos this week since I've been "man down" for a few days.  I'll be back with updated photos next week :).

Until then.....

68 Days Out

68 days out from my first competition and things are steadily changing.

Change is something that is inevitable.  It's something we all hear, learn and/or experience at some point in time.  I find more and more that my openness and willingness to "change" sometimes comes at a slower rate than when I was younger and I reflected this week on "why" change was so hard.

From week-to-week my body changes little-by-little.  A little here.  A little there.  And the thing about this journey is that it is my first.  I have never competed in a bodybuilding competition.  So in the end, when the next 68 days are up I really don't know what to expect. I know this vision that I have in my head but really, underneath the layers that are being melted away each and every week, I don't know in the end what/how this "change" will result.

That is the part of the constant change is life - not knowing what to expect.  You think about all of the time and effort you've put into something we reach a place where we feel like we have more to lose.  In actuality, there is a lot more to gain on the other side of change.  And if we are really truly honest with ourselves, isn't it worth risking a little to gain a lot more.  To gain a new perspective, insight, clarity and experience.  Things that may require a bit of sacrifice up-front and will result in going even a little bit further than where you would be if you didn't take the chance on change.

Because in the end, everything will change.  We will get older, other people will take that leap and new people (that we may or may not like will replace them), time will move and will never come back.  So why not just take the change and happen to change before change happens to you.  Either way, it will happen.


In general...
If I had to name this week I would call it - Administration Week. I took care of ordering my suits for the show, choosing music for my individual routine and posing practice with Ute.  Ute is also a bodybuilding competitor and she goes to my gym.  She has been working with me and correcting my posing.  This is a very important aspect of competing and to be honest, it is necessary to have someone available who knows what they are doing to help you.  Please don't get me wrong, The Boss is still 100% in control and he knows of Ute as a competitor.  Since he is further away, it is advantageous to have someone here who is a little accessible.

Choosing the music was not so easy.  When you read online, they tell you to start with music that you like and that will give you that "feeling".  For me that is rap music, but.....for bodybuilding, that's not the "best" selection.  After several trials and conferring with Ute and the Boss, I finally settled on a song.  Now it's practice, practice, practice until it's second nature.  There is still a section I am not 100% feeling, but it's 80% completed and that's okay for right now.


Diet...
This is the third week on the new diet and I am finally in a groove.  I am still eating 100g of carbs a day and only chicken and veggies.  Getting into a routine with preparing meals was the biggest challenge.  Since I can't use salt to cook, only pepper and a little bit of oil I have come to find that I can only prepare chicken 1 day in advance, otherwise it is too dry.  Also, I prefer cooking it in a pan on the stove with a little oil (less than 4ml total) and lemon juice (pure lemon juice).  The pure lemon juice is important because monitoring my salt intake is key.

I normally buy thin cuts of chicken; however, with thicker cuts it's important to pound them with a meat tenderizer (or a rolling pin would suffice).  It helps to keep it moist.  After letting the pan warm up on medium-high heat, I add a little oil then add the chicken and letting is cook a bit on both sides (about 1 minute a side).  Then I turn the heat down to medium-low, squeeze a little lemon juice over the top and cover it.  It's important not to let it cook too long then it will be too dry.  I remove it and put it in plastic tupperware lined with foil.  I turn the heat back up on the pan (but now it has still some oil and liquid) and I do the same with the next pieces.  Some times I may have to add a little more oil or a little more lemon juice, but staying within the confines of the diet are key.  I find that the chicken is more tender the next day when I warm it up again, and I haven't gagged on dry chicken in 2 weeks.  It still a different flavor than being able to add all the salts and seasonings that you like but I can admit that I've gotten used to it and it's not so bad.  Especially since I can sprinkle salt over it before I eat.  I use that 5g of salt I get a day very wisely!

For the veggies I rely on broccoli, green beans, paprika and/or mushrooms.  The broccoli has more calories than (for example zucchini) and in the game of volume eating vs. being tired of choosing, broccoli is a great option.  The green beans are a second favorite, but they often take a bit more prep time than the broccoli.  Paprika I love when I am at home, and when I need something to eat with a different, refreshing taste.  The red and yellow have a bit more calories and quite frankly they taste good and are easy to clean and eat when needed.  And the new addition to my routine is mushrooms, which I personally like.  Now, they have low calories so you have to eat A TON to make a dent in your caloric requirements for the day, but they are filling and if you like them they are a good option. At some points when my calories are reduced they will probably be more of a staple, but since I am still eating around 2,000 calories a day, the broccoli and beans are my best options.

Cooking the broccoli and beans I steam them.  I bring a pot of water to a boil (not a lot, just enough to cover about 1/2 inch.  You don't want the water to cover all of your veggies.  Add the veggies and cover them and let them boil/steam for about 8-10 minutes (anything past 12-15 is too long).  You don't want to over cook them to the point they change color and are too soft.  With the broccoli you can just touch the top and tell if its cooked enough.  (Sorry, I am a cook so I do everything by look and feel - my times are approximate.)  Once they are done, to keep that vibrant green color pour out the hot water and immediate run cold water over them, filling up your pot.  Then pour out that water and do it again.  You don't want them sitting in hot water.  I would cook veggies to cover no more than 3 days of meals.  Broccoli for example gets sour and that is not good.  Broccoli literally takes less than 15 minutes from cutting to finishing cooking.  It's something that can be done more often.

Since I eat only 100g of rice a day,  I split it up with 50g before I train and 50g after to really use that carbs wisely.


Weight....
On the weight front, this week was a good week.  I clocked in today at 76.2kg /168lbs and I'm happy about that.  I figured out one of the contributors to my weekend weight gain which I will write about more in the new "TMI" section after the pictures.  The goal next week is to be at 75kg/165lbs.  I have included a screen shot of my weight history on MyFitnessPal app for the last 6 months.  You can see how my weigh has fluctuated but you can see the trend downwards.  In the beginning I had a lot of food options and flexibility.  The target was the lose weight with more movement.  Cutting calories was not the first line of business.  As the weeks go along, the Boss will make more tweaks and changes to make sure the fat loss continues.  However, at no point is the goal to sacrifice muscle for the weight loss.  I want to minimize the loss of muscle as the primary target.  I want to make this clear.  This is a snap shot of the last 6 months.  At no point was it/or will it ever be an overnight sensation.

When I started working with the Boss, the goal was the gain muscle.  He told me I had potential, but to see any of that potential I had to put in the work.  And on top of that I had to eat.  That was hard for me at first because I didn't want to get "fat".  I wanted the "lean gains".  Sure, everyone wants size and toning at the same time, but they are two completely different goals.  So I picked size.  And I gained muscles and for sure some fat too.  I got up to 85kg/187lbs, my pants didn't fit and I was always warm.  At 85kg/187lbs, I was also stronger than I had been in my life to date, and putting up some good numbers and aspiring for bigger numbers.  I took longer breaks between sets, trained 4 days a week and did zero cardio.  Because the goal was to gain size.  Now the goal has changed.  Now I want to lose fat and uncover what I have spent over the last 1+ year working to build.  It is all possible.  This transition takes time, and since it's my first cut it will for sure be the hardest - but it will be worth it.  Then when it's all said and done, I will gain some weight back and push heavy weights.  What is important to note is the consistency - you have to pick a direction, make up in your mind that's where you want to go for however long you want to go there, and make it happen.  Changing things up every 1-2 weeks because of reading a new article or getting advice is not the way to go.  Work your plan and let it work for you.  When it stops working, make a change.  But the most beneficial change always is with the primary mover - YOU!


Training...
This week I started training in the mornings because I really needed to free up some more time in my day.  For the most part it went well.  Getting up is hard whether it's at 5:45am or 8:00am or 12:00pm.  So once I'm over the original "get up" I'm okay.  I live close enough to my gym that I can go home after I train and shower and get dressed for work and still get there before 9am.  At the end of my work day, I didn't have to worry about still having to train and I could go to the grocery store if needed or anything else.  This week I used the time to cook my chicken for the following day, posing practice, grocery shopping, or an extra walking session on the treadmill.  I will continue into this week.   So far I think it's a good change.

I'm still on the same schedule - so 5 days a week training, each day consisting of a heavy basic exercise: Monday (Bench), Tuesday, (squats), Wednesday, (chins), Thursday (rest), Friday (Shoulder Press), Saturday (Barbell Rows), Sunday (Rest).  For my heavy basic lifts I use the PITT Training protocol.  The goal is 20 reps and there is a rest-pause (2-5 second) between each repetition.  Sounds easy?! NOT!!  The idea is that with the pause in between you can always do one more repetition.  For the squats, it's a (INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE).  You pause with the weight on your shoulders.  And then go for another.  And always for 20 reps.  I have been using this style training since October of last year and it was different in the beginning because it's not "common" but it definitely works and I have seen results.  I'll go more into the protocol as the weeks go on.

In the building season I did the same exercises, but I only went to the gym 4 days a week.  There has been no change up of the program since the beginning.  I am NOT; however, doing anything new that I didn't do in the build season.  Every week I learn something new about the exercise, my form or the feel of being under the bar.  You only learn this over time and after hundred of reps.  And when the weight goes up, you learn a little more.  Some exercises changed because, quite frankly, there are some movements I like more than others.  For example, I prefer the decline bench press vs flat bench press because the flat bench murders my shoulders #paincentral101.  So in the building phase I did decline bench for size and incline bench for look instead of the flat bench.  For the PITT reps, I am doing a seated chest press because it works better with the protocol and I can get the work in.  All-in-all I am still lifting heavy as possible in the main exercises.  My strength is still maintained, I just find my energy levels leave a lot faster with the reduction of carbs.


Cardio...
Last week I think I wrote that the Boss told me to cancel out the HIIT training and stick to low impact activities.  I've still been walking 20 minutes a day for 4 of the 5 training days, but since I do sit all day at my job, this week I walked on Thursday as well and since I had more time in the evenings a couple of evenings I went in for a second 20 minute walking session on the treadmill.  I walk at 7.0kpm (kilometers per hour) which is not slow, but not too fast.  Getting in the extra movement where I can and 20 minutes is not bad at all.  It's doable.

In General....
The things I am doing for this prep is no different than any other athlete.  The key is to find a routine that works for you and stick with it.  I would love to only have to get up, train and eat everyday.  That's not my life.  I work full-time (9-10 hours a day), still take my German class, am a homeowner, and have other commitments.  Life happens, and throwing training and contest-prep into that is not easy.  However, you do what you must to get what you want.  We make time for the things that are most important to us.


Until next week, here are some update pics at todays weight of 76.2kg....

"TMI" ...

Last week I talked about noticing on the weekends that my weight seems to creep up a little bit, well I found the culprit.  I began to notice that Monday through Thursday I have a bowel movement regularly because I drink coffee during the week at work.  But on the weekends, I rarely drink coffee because I don't have it at home and as a result I wasn't "moving" like I do during the week.  It is amazing how one thing can be off and how it can affect what you see.  It's important to keep a solid baseline of input so that changes can be tracked.  Needless to say, this weekend I drank coffee both days and I did not have the problem with the scale.  Until the next challenge.

75 Days Out

When you decide to pursue something for yourself it seems like anything and everything that can come up - does.  My experience is no different from anyone else who wants to pursue something outside the "normal" life we are taught to lead.  One of the things I have struggled the most with through my training and even more through this prep is balance.  Often times pulled in different directions, emotionally, professionally, physical and spiritually, I am always looking for that happy medium.  The middle ground.  It's a constant juggling act.  To bring up a lagging area you have to dedicate more time to it, but then one of the other areas/roles begin to suffer.  So as you gain strength where you were once weak, you come to find that getting strong never really ceases because there is always an area that requires work.  

This week has been no different.  In my struggle for balance, I feel like my greatest challenge is the fight to do something I feel passionate about - training - and doing something I feel obligated to do - working.  I have never had a problem working, and I still don't.  My struggle lies in the fact that I know that work only provides me with what is tangible, the resources to live comfortably.  However, training and this journey touches me in other areas that money can never reach.  As I get old, it's the other areas that become more important to me and less the money and the rat race.  And it's this struggle I have come to realize in the past week - during those moments of clarity after I have carbs - that my struggle is not so much with the job but the feeling of obligation that comes from a life that is pre-defined vs. the life of a dreamer.  

But there is an element in all of that that I have complete control over, and that is my ability to trust the process.  Because that is what this is.  As my body is changing from week-to-week as a result of discipline and short-term sacrifice, my mind and my soul are also going through an internal transformation as I am learning the true power in - trusting the process.

Trusting in the process doesn't mean that you don't get frustrated or actively concerned about the changes that are going on or what seem like a lack thereof.  Trusting the process means 1) trusting in yourself to be able to stick through it, and 2) trusting in those around you who sincerely have your back and want the best for you.

#1 is a personal decision and if you don't have a trainer/coach who you absolutely trust in #2, you need to make some phone calls.

Last week I spoke a little bit about my fluctuating weight and my frustrations and desire to jump off of my internal bridge.  Last Monday, I had a Skype call with the Boss to go through some changes in detail.  He said that the weight was just water, but we needed to get that under control.  So, he does what any good Boss does -->He turned up the intensity of my prep diet and (excuse my french) shit has gotten real!

Diet

No eggs or egg whites this week.  My meal sources are chicken/turkey, vegetables (e.g. broccoli, zucchini, green beans, paprika), Zero carb, Zero fat protein powder, 100g rice/day and an apple.  No seasoning food with salt and other seasonings.  Only pepper.  My salt intake is now 5g/day in relation to my water intake of 6L.  I am still at 2,000 calories a day goal.  

What I realized this week is that I've been eating over my 2,000 calories threshold since who knows because I often prepared a lot of chicken to cover several days and then weighed it as I distributed it over the meals.  Well the Boss says to weigh the meat raw, so that's what I will be doing.  What this revelation teaches; however - for all those people starving themselves to lose weight -- is that you do indeed have to eat to lose.  I've clearly been eating more than 2,000 calories if you take into consideration my meat intake was based on the cooked weight and not raw weight (chicken shrinks) and my weight was still going down.

The reason for taking out the additional variety I had in my diet was to remove all of the possible input factors.  While the level of conditioning I am chasing requires a close look at every possible detail and too many inputs don't allow the Boss to know which pegs to change and how those changes affect my ability to lose weight.  It's a science experiment on me.  While how to lose weight is known by everyone, the appropriate formula for that "how" differs from person to person.  

I have eaten more chicken this week alone than any other week.  I even texted Mrs. Boss (Nicole) on Monday - who's been Bodybuilding for over 10 years - if she had any hints or tricks to make consuming so much chicken bearable (especially when I can't load it up with salt before I cook it?  She answered nicely - No, you just get used to it.  And she was right.  I'm 6 days into the new diet, and I've gotten used to it.

Weight

The affects of the new diet were immediate.  My weight dropped from 79kg last Sunday and was 77kg yesterday.  This morning I had some water retention so it was up a bit.  But I will make sure I am 100% on my water intake today.  I do seem to retain water on the weekends more than I do during the week.  I will have to monitor it the next weeks.  Last week I was 10 weeks out.  The goal is 1kg a week.  By next Sunday, the goal is to be at 76kg.

Training

My training is unchanged.  The goal is to be able to keep my strength as long as possible.  I am doing good with that.  The day I struggle the most, as I wrote last week is leg day.  It takes the most out of me and the hardest to get through.  That's normal.  I'm still pushing the weight and making it happen.

Cardio

My cardio is not over the top.  I am still on 4 days a week for 20 minutes.  The Boss told me on Monday not to do the HIIT Training only because I need to retain as much energy as possible.  While by Wednesday's I am usually very tired, he told me that I don't know what tired is yet. #facepalm  Light jogging or fast walking is okay.  I even try to get some extra walking in (non-strenous) on my rest days just to get the bodily movement.  This is one aspect I am happy about - that, like other competitors, I am not doing hours of cardio.  There aren't enough hours in the day!!!

My usual photographer was not available today, so I did the personal photo shoot at home (the struggle was real).  Time of day is the same as the other pictures, but the location is different.  2 kg down from last week's photos.  Until next week...

82 Days and Counting

Today I am 82 days out from my first show.  This past week - actually the past few weeks - have been stressful.  Balancing working full time, training, cooking and competition prep in general is a lot.  While it would be great to do Bodybuilding full-time wearing sneakers and stretchy workout clothes everyday - God knows that's my ultimate dream, it is unfortunately not my currently reality.  I am at work most days from 9-10 hours and after work I usually go home and decompress for a few hours, sometimes doing nothing and sometimes napping before I go to the gym.  I'm at the gym around 8:30pm-9pm for a little over a hour.  The home to shower and eat one last meal before bed.

Diet

I actually started my prep many months out to gradually work into it.  It started back in March when the Boss eliminated sweets and milk products from my diet.  This was not so hard for me because I am not a fan of milk and chocolate is only an issue during that "special time" of the month.  

I am currently eating around 2,000 calories a day and my diet consists of chicken, turkey, fish, eggs, rice and vegetables.  I eat approximately 5-6 meals a day and I am currently drinking about 6 liters of water a day (yes I am best friends with the bathroom).  Until a couple of weeks ago, I was eating still the same amount of calories, but the mix of carbohydrates, protein and fats were much different.  I am not so close tracking with macros.  I was eating at least 200g of protein a day and about 400-500g of rice.  In the last couple of weeks, the rice portion has been reduced significantly to start with 200g rice a day for a week, and for the last two weeks 150g of rice a day.  I'll get more to that in the next session.  The reduction in rice has definitely started to bring on the cravings for sweets/chocolate.

Training

Before prep, I was training 4 days a week and doing no cardio.  I am currently training 5 days a week and doing cardio 4 of those days for 20 minutes.  Since I have issues still with my feet from basketball, I do HIIT training 2 of the days and the other tow days fast walking on the treadmill.  Since the goal is no longer muscle building but fat loss and "cutting" I lift heavy in my main lifts - bench press, squats, chin-ups, shoulder press and rowing. The lifts are going good, I started feeling the effects of the reduced rice this week, especially on leg day.  My energy levels through my lifts are up and down but I'm still having strong lifts and haven't lost any strength - and that's a relief.

Weight

I weigh myself every day.  And I must say that this is probably one of the most frustrating and irritating parts of this journey.  I weighed in this morning at 78.9kg, after being just Friday at 77.7kg. This has been the case every week.  My weight comes down every week and goes back up every week not having changed anything.  

We will see what this next week has to unfold and continue moving forward towards the goal.  I've come too far to give up now.

Here are some pics from May 16th (red top) to last week, July 28th (green top), and a few pics from  today (pink top).

 

89 Days and Counting

Last May I made the decision to go for a dream of mines of competing in Bodybuilding.  I have always love lifting heavy weights and being in the gym - whether it was the on the basketball court or in the weight room - has always given me peace.  So I did what any reasonable woman who dreams would do?  I went after it.

I had done a lot of research on Google, read many fitness magazines searching for "what" I can do, "how" I can do it and all the other questions that come up when someone decides he/she want to do something.  And let me tell you, there is a lot of "useless" information out there.  Definitely a lot of information, but most of it was useless.  I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want.  I had prayed to God for a door or window to open looking for a trainer.  A couple of weeks later I met a guy here locally.  He wrote me a training plan and a meal plan that I followed for a few weeks.  I told him that I wanted to compete in the Women's Physique Class and he told me that I couldn't do it unless I took steroids.  That was his belief, and his prerogative, but that wasn't what I was interested in.  I wanted to see what I could do with the tools God had given me.  I have nothing against women who choose to do it.  Because steroids don't make you strong, these women still have to work their butts off to achieve the physique they dream of.  My journey has me on a different path.

Luckily not long after that I met my trainer who I have to this day.  I call him "the Boss".  I'll talk more about the Boss, his training methods and my individual training over the next 12 weeks, but for now just know he was the answer to that prayer.

So for the last year I have been training - hard.
 And it hasn't been easy.  It's amazing how inconsiderate people can be when they don't understand or agree with the choices you make for your life -- especially when they are positive.  If I would have gotten pregnant or my life was falling apart, there probably wouldn't be so many sly comments.  Since I'm doing this for me, I take the good with the disappointing and keep it moving.

Now I am in the preparation phase for my show.  I actually started officially after my sister's wedding in June, but before that the Boss took away all sweets and milk products (that latter not so hard because I am not a big milk fan.)  In this phase I have transitioned from growing to cutting.  I started at 85kg.  Today I weighed in at 79.7kg.  I weigh myself every morning before eating and drinking anything.  This is probably the most frustrating part of this journey so far.  The Boss said he thinks my competition weight will be somewhere around 64-67kg and since 1kg + 2.2lbs  - you get the picture.  Everyday my weight does something different.

Last Monday, the Boss changed my training plan and made adjustments to my diet because I just wasn't really losing weight.  Still eating approx. 2000 calories a day, my daily rice intake was reduced from 400g to 200g and I train now 5 days a week instead of 4.  Still lifting heavy.  Everyday has a concentrated exercise that is pushed for maximum effort, and then 2-3 supplemental exercises for pumping and to get the heart rate up -- so much drop sets, supersets, etc...  Why? Because I need to burn more calories and since my job is in an office setting at a desk for 9-10 hours a day that extra movement is crucial.  But last week the changes worked almost immediately and I was excited.  I had gone down to 78.4kg before I was hit with a bug on this past Sunday and got sick.  And what happened? My weight went back up.  And as usual, I panicked because the Boss doesn't see me everyday.  He doesn't live close.   And in my mind I wonder what he's wondering when he's reviewing my meals and such.  I am completely honest with my meal and weight tracking because  even though it frustrates me, I would rather be able to see what happens and what not.  I do a lot of reading outside of him talking me off the ledge trying to figure out what I could be doing wrong or what I could be doing different, but here again is all the useless information out there.

So I remember to trust the Boss.  Why?  Because at the end of the day I know he has my best interests at heart and his wife is a beast so I know he's knows what he's talking about.

Over the next 12 weeks I will continue charting the ins and outs of my contest prep and posting pics as well.  I'm doing this mostly to keep my own sanity but maybe someone will Google something about contest prep one day and find some sense of familiarity and solace in their journey from reading mines.

Until next week.

Bamboozled

"One of the saddest lessons in history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle.  We're no longer interested in finding out the truth.  The bamboozle has captured us.  It is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that we've been so credulous.  So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new bamboozles rise." - Carl Sagan

Outside of the pink leather binding of my iPad that holds my Bible App in any translation that I could ever want to imagine, God still comes up with unique ways of teaching me so many of life's most precious lessons.

Just after 8:00pm I walked through the open door from the parking lot up the narrow stairs into the place only a couple of months ago I have been so happy to see.  When you walk through the glass door, you see a great collection of Hammer Strength equipment, you can feel the energy of the inhabitants, and the feeling of familiarity.  There at the front desk when you round the corner is the man of the house - the one they all look up to, the one that they introduced me to who could help me on my journey to pursue a dream.  This is a place that I would love to call my gym -- "my home."

Just two months ago things were all good, and I was (and still am) making great progress, but something in me has been a little unsettled.  I train four hard days a week, and my body has been wearing down on me rapidly, but I keep pushing. This method of training is contrary to everything I have learned, but this guy: "He sends athletes all the time to competition.  Even his girlfriend has won awards, so he must know what he is talking about and how to get there."

That still small voice on the inside of me is steadily whispering something I just cannot hear.

Juxtaposed to this, I was fortunate to meet another man through a chance visit in Zurich, that led to an email to a friend, who emailed another friend to ask if he would be interested in training.  Less than 24 hours later I get an email from a man I have never met in my life (to date) offering me an opportunity to explore another avenue for my training.  To this offer I quietly said 'yes' and reached out to the man of a friend's friend's friend -- I call him Karsten.  One thing Karsten has done for me was help get me back to center.  The still small voice gets a little louder.  

With my training, I have always followed and trained a certain way, and I believe this way absolutely works.  Where I have gone wrong is trying to pursue a path how others do it because that is way things have always been done.  The bamboozle begins.

Social Media is filled with people training 6-7 days a week - "team no days off" they say.   To myself I think they can't be training that hard.  Because I am all for days off!  My body needs days off, or I cannot function as a normal human being.  

My body - my body is the most intelligent organism that I have encountered.  And if I listen to it, it tells me exactly what it needs, and if I give it what it needs, it give me what I need in return.  It is the best relationship I have been in!

So what if the time and energy spent beating your body in the ground and posting it all over social media was not necessary to reaching you goals?  Unfortunately, that will never be the case because too many people have trained this way for years, and other people who see them look up to them and automatically accept what they have to say.  Parallel to that, these people have built a following, a platform that draw hundreds of thousands of "Likes" a day.  And what would happen to those "Likes" if you started training "against the grain?" To think you would "fall from grace" is too much to swallow.  So we push off the search for new truths and keep getting up every morning and pushing it to the limit, because that is what you have built everything on.  The bamboozle continues.

The problem with the above is this: we look at people and assume that because they have reached a certain point in their journey, they have also taken the "BEST" path. We never question or research for ourselves that there could be an easier way.  Instead we give them platforms to show they "expertise" and jump on the bandwagon for every new craze of any kind that is marketed to us.  We want to believe in something so bad that we start to believe in everything. And when those things do not work out, we blame ourselves but we are unwilling to change to do things differently from what is the "norm" because these things challenge us to our core.

But being challenged to the core is what makes us great.  Being stripped down and exposed is what propels us to new levels of being.  But to be stripped down means to first be vulnerable, and to realize that a lot of what you have come to know and stand on may not be 100% true.  It means that your core beliefs are faulty, it could even mean that you have invested a lot of time and effort for nothing.  It means that you will have to change - all the way down to your beliefs.

Unfortunately, this is a challenge that is most commonly looked over because to crack a foundation is to crack a portion of your soul.  Even though I can tell you that there is something greater just on the other side of those flames, and those are only shadows that you are so intrigued with on the wall.  It is a place few people choose to go.  So instead we stick to the "bamboozles" -- the shackles -- that we have built our lives, our past times,  our goals, our joys on top of, in fear of the life - in the matrix :) - that actually frees us.

Because what will my life be without the bamboozles?  New bamboozles arise.


With Love,

Jo Coop

The Winning Corner

As I record the event of the next few years, I want to make it more than the travel and experience, but also if the internal changes that come with this adventure that I am on.  So I am 4 months into my move to Germany and it has been met already with many priceless experiences (invigorating and draining).  There is absolutely nothing that can prepare you for packing up your life in one place and moving to another.  There would have been a bit of a struggle moving from the East coast to the West coast, or the rustle and bustle of the North to the calm and the patience of the South.  But in America, you have one thing that will always play in your favor -- Everyone speaks English!!!   And the culture is the same.  No matter where you go, it will be easy to make friends and meet new people.  But there is a common foundation that everyone has that helps facilitate the adaptation to the new surroundings.

For a young woman who has moved from Detroit, Michigan where she was born and raised to Stuttgart  (actually Esslingen) Germany more than 5,000 miles away from the place she calls home -- change is a formidable foe.  I have traveled to Germany more than 6 times in the last couple of years on business, but there is one thing to travel somewhere on business or just for travel, and another to move someplace for a long-term experience and have to call it home.  Things as simple as going to CVS to pick up a prescription changes, has a different process, and is done in a different language (not to mention has a different name).  From day 1, it's sensory overload - sight, hearing, taste, sound, touch, and I will add spirit.  Everything is new, the air, the germs, the feel of the air on a spring or summer day.

But at the same time, the change assists in the personal growth.  When you pick up and move across the globe away from your safety net, your support system and your comfort zone, some things are just not the same anymore.  The issues that you may have stressed or thought about in your previous world are minuscule compared to your present challenges, and the hopes and dreams that you have become bigger as your dreams are being realized in your everyday life.  At the same time, that safety net is pulled from under you and you realize that every 'T' un-crossed and every 'I' un-dotted means that you, and you alone are solely responsible for any repercussion that may come from the oversight.  But it also serves as a catalyst into actual self-growth and independence.

Although this experience is met with so many challenges, it also has so many benefits.  And the pros definitely outweigh the cons.  As a person, a daughter, an employee, a friend, I am already better.  I have already learned so much about myself and I know if I can do this, I can do even more - with God on my side.

Most of all, I know where my real support system lies.  And I have grown to appreciate it more and more as the days go by.  There is nothing like the love of a mother, who you could only hope to be like one of these days, or the days you can talk to a father who has been the true definition of what a real man should be.  The friendship of sisters, that through the good times or more frustrating, the unconditional love trumps everything else and they will always be there.  To an Aunt and Uncle who was willing to take in your dog as one of their family knowing one day he would move with you, but they loved him just the same.  To the friend even thousands of miles aways you can Skype with to help with a business meeting or call when one of 'us' is no longer with us.  To the friends and family, already, that I had the opportunity to share in the birth of their children.  To the payments I pay every month to be in the right place with the right people at those special times. To the pastor that has prayed for you in-spite of your faults, and the woman you have learned the meaning and benefits of serving.  From the laughs on Instagram from soon to be family in reality.  To the mentors is Southern California with a room always for me.  To the people who just stay in touch - without reason, without alternative motives - but with unconditional love: this blog posting is for you, the corner, MY WINNING CORNER!

If nothing else in this life: keep dreaming and pursue your dreams regardless of the outcome.  I promise you will never be disappointed and life will always give back to you what you go after.

Dream Big, Live Big,

I love you all!